Being a parent is hard. I should know. I have three little kids. Kids don’t live up to their parents’ expectations. They’re not born to fulfill their parents’ lost dreams or to make their parents’ lives better. They’re born to live their OWN lives. They need to be guided and loved and accepted for who they are. For a long time, after I realized my oldest son functioned differently, I felt lost. I didn’t want life to be harder for him. And sometimes–a lot of times–HE makes his life harder. All I can do is show him love, support, and get him the help he needs when he needs it. Kids need to feel like they’re loved for who they are, unconditionally. Parents need to be able to set aside any misgivings they have to achieve that properly. And I bet you’re wondering how this relates to “Hughie.”
Well today, I wrote for Microbookends about Hughie, whose father can’t or won’t accept her for what she is. It’s a sad tale, but someone in Hughie’s family (probably his mother) obviously accepts her for who she is, as witnessed by the objects in her room. The bookends were “play” and “boy.”
Born a Boy
@laurenegreene
109 words
“Play ball, Hughie,” Dad said.
The metal bat crashed against the innocent heads of the dolls. Porcelain shards littered the room like a murder scene: one eye, half a smile, and a broken nose.
Hughie, in her princess bed, grasped her bunny lovey as she pulled the covers up to her chin.
The acrid smell of alcohol stung her nostrils as Dad stumbled toward her.
He yanked the bunny out of her arms and threw the window open. Hughie and Dad watched as the bunny fluttered like a feather then landed on a rock below.
He spat the words. “I’ll never call you Lily. You were born a boy.”
I know my kids will go through that period where they hate me, and they blame me for every mistake in their life. I’m okay with that, as long as they know I love them and that I’ll accept them.
Here’s a picture of my three little monsters. You can so get a hint of their personalities from this. Oldest is in the stage where he won’t smile. Middle is silly. Little is sweet (and she has a sweet in her mouth too!)
What a lovely post written by an obviously caring kind and wonderful parent!
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Thank you!
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Beautiful and handsome children. My younger son went through a no smile stage. He actually would make an evil looking face for photos. We had a family shot at Fenway Park that when the photographer took the photo, he put his ‘mean’ face on and looks purely evil – it’s actually a funny photo now, but I was so angry at the time!
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Judi-it cracks me up. I sat and talked to him last night before bed–the only time I can get him to open up to me, and I actually got a smile! Kids!
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Watch out for the middle one, they are the ones who feel left out, who need that little bit more attention, but they are the ones who will be the most independent :))
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Shaheen–Middle ones always end up being the most successful. At least that’s true in my family of origin, and I think it’s because they didn’t have so many of their parents’ expectations thrown on them! He’s the sweetest pea!
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So is mine, hence the comment xx
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What an engaging story. As you mentioned at least Hughie has someone supportive and there will be others. Great post! And it looks like you have 3 wonderful children too. 🙂
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You are so right Lauren, expectations, whether they be too high or too low, make such an impact. It is wonderful when parents get that and respect their children for the individuals they are (that’s you) and its even better when someone breaks that cycle in a repeating history. Great post!
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