Embracing My Mess

I’m trying to get myself organized. Today’s post was brought to you by the article in the NY Times Making a Marriage Magically Tidy. I read the post, and then I posted it to my personal Facebook page.

My sister responded, and I quote, “…did you write that article under a pseudonym? That part about the panty liner was hilarious!! Well, we do the best we can, right!”

We do the best we can. That’s what I tell myself on Saturdays when I’m binge watching Netflix but should really be cleaning. Let me tell you, my floors will never be fit to eat off of. There will probably always be a layer of dust on by bookshelves. There will be crumbs on my table. My kids’ toys will be littering the floor until the sad day they ship off to college.

I read that book mentioned in the article, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I rolled up my clothes and put them in drawers. I felt whether clothes sparked joy in me or not, and the ones that didn’t were given away. I threw away A TON of stuff, donated things, and basically went on a mad-cleaning spree for about a month. In Kondo’s book, she said something like (and this is paraphrasing because I read it over a year ago) “no one who has gone through my program has ever relapsed.” Well she never met me.

Several things I learned from Kondo’s book:

  1. She probably has severe OCD
  2. Her siblings most likely hated her growing up – she organized and threw away their things
  3. I’m inherently missing something that makes me want to keep things neat and tidy
  4. When I start to clean I always end up finding a box of nostalgia and falling into a state of schaudenfreude. I find that inherently not worth it. But also could probably fix this problem but just tossing my old memorabilia yet there’s no way I can actually let go of that stuff. Catch 22.

The thing about me is I am at both extremes. When things are neat and tidy, I freak out if people so much as put one thing out of place. It’s a problem. It’s easier for me to have organized unorganized chaos than to deal with the crazy that comes out in me when things are neat. Maybe this comes from being a perfectionist. Or maybe there’s just something wrong with my brain.

Plus, I’ve read the news: kids growing up on farms with dirt have better immune systems and less allergies than other kids. I’m just giving my kids a leg up. They have zero food allergies–that’s something, right?

Seriously though, sometimes I think I need an intervention. I’ve been trying to tidy up my room for 12-18 months. Something always gets in the way. Over that period of time, we culled the toys in the kids’ rooms and helped them clean theirs. But I have a mental block for cleaning out my own shit. I’d like to talk to Helen Ellis about how she got through that mental block. Did podcasts do it? Because I get obsessed with those for like a week, and then move on. Perhaps I have adult ADHD. That would explain why I can’t freaking finish anything to save my life, including my novel, and why I jump from one thing to another. And why I’m such a major underachiever even though I have idealistic dreams of being MORE!

I guess I’ll start this weekend by going through my closet. Then again, I’ve been telling anyone and everyone that I’ve intended to do that for the last eighteen months. Some things never change…

Messy Room

What end of the spectrum do you fall on? Are you tidy or messy? Have you been both? How did you change your ways?

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4 thoughts on “Embracing My Mess

  1. I think I fall on the messy end of the spectrum. I keep saying that I’ll get organized, but never really do. I don’t have a system. Or I don’t maintain it. As far as finishing projects, I’m with you on many fronts. I tend to rush from one thing to another. It’s hard for me to slow down. The same goes for my writing. I’m always quick to write something else instead of seeing something all the way through. That needs to stop.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Me neither. Organization has become my nemesis. The weird thing is, I’m completely organized at work. I have a system that works for me. My dad was shocked when he saw my work desk! He could not believe how clean it was!

      Like

  2. “In Kondo’s book, she said something like (and this is paraphrasing because I read it over a year ago) “no one who has gone through my program has ever relapsed.” Well she never met me.”
    ROFLMAO, we must be sisters!
    “[Kondo] probably has severe OCD.” I’m so glad you said this. I have read several of these get-organized tomes and by the end I find myself mentally asking the author: “But where is the JOY in your life? Sure, your closets and drawers are thoroughly cleaned, with everything lined up by purpose and color, but when did you last wake up to a day that was not already mapped from waking to bedtime?”
    I say go out and embrace life, enjoy people, and let the dust fall where it may.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amy–we must be sisters! I agree. I look for the joy in my life. And I deal with the mess. It could be worse than it is. I could be a borderline hoarder but with my husband’s house we maintain a semi-type of order. We have fun though and that’s important!

      Liked by 1 person

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